You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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