that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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