I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize