Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize