Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize