it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize