Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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