im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
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hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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