I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize