if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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