My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize