what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just high enough for therapy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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