i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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