smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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