oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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