you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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