come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize