"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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