I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
that's an acceptable place to lick
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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