even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize