My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
the raccoons are back...
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