i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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