I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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