Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i came on her dog
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize