eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize