This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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