I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize