so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
as a side note pls kill me
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