i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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