i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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