the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I stole a fireplace last night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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