whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize