no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
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I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There's even glitter on my cock...
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