We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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