Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
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i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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