im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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