When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize