Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have fence marks all over my body
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize