Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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