My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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