My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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