Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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