Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
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You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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