I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize