thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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