I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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