I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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