I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize