my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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