Plan B is the new Plan A
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
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Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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