I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize