and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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